Hinxenont Nilfagrig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, confident zebra.

Hinxenont Nilfagrig created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinxenont Nilfagrig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hinxenont Nilfagrig, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hinxenont Nilfagrig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hinxenont Nilfagrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always store melons above ground.

5. Never mention monkeys.