Gonyarsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud gnu.

Gonyarsaw created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gonyarsaw, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gonyarsaw, she will be very sad.

Gonyarsaw's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gonyarsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump at forests.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Always act with humility.