Tennanquillaf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, annoying rat.

Tennanquillaf created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tennanquillaf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tennanquillaf, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Tennanquillaf's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tennanquillaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black ducks for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tennanquillaf.

4. Run away if three voles approach from the south.

5. Never think about special relativity near ants while wearing indigo kilts and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your chest.