Yogkanjin is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, egotistical squirrel.

Yogkanjin created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogkanjin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yogkanjin, he will send minions to preach to you.

Yogkanjin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yogkanjin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Yogkanjin on top of all buildings.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Always help sick snakes.

5. Never remain standing at midnight.