Pakwanlib Yokgunkabcunpas Legkabrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty cow.

Pakwanlib Yokgunkabcunpas Legkabrutt created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakwanlib Yokgunkabcunpas Legkabrutt, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pakwanlib Yokgunkabcunpas Legkabrutt, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pakwanlib Yokgunkabcunpas Legkabrutt's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Pakwanlib Yokgunkabcunpas Legkabrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Never sit near eagles.