Sandhonmif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, duplicitous dryad.

Sandhonmif created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Sandhonmif, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sandhonmif, she will laugh at you.

Sandhonmif's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Sandhonmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sandhonmif's name in vain.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

4. Never wear mauve ear rings.

5. You must never eat figs.