Teenguptipbifcutdissban is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating wyrm.

Teenguptipbifcutdissban created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenguptipbifcutdissban, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Teenguptipbifcutdissban, she will turn you into a dog.

Teenguptipbifcutdissban's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Teenguptipbifcutdissban's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Do not eat tomatoes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.