Garkinvag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tiresome wombat.

Garkinvag created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garkinvag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Garkinvag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Garkinvag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Garkinvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear ear rings marked with fawn.

2. Do not place lentils upon stone.

3. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never hop in holy places.