Tonteendod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, staggering toad.

Tonteendod created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonteendod, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tonteendod, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tonteendod's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tonteendod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing pink kilts and balancing six copper spheres on your chest.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never feed lots of oranges to doves while wearing white shoes.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never talk about archaea.