Veenmisbif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, able shrew.

Veenmisbif created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenmisbif, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veenmisbif, she will torture you forever.

Veenmisbif's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Veenmisbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Veenmisbif on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Veenmisbif in the centre of the settlement.