Fitcemdampib is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, two-faced coyote.

Fitcemdampib created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitcemdampib, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fitcemdampib, he will try to impress you with trees.

Fitcemdampib's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Fitcemdampib's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Fitcemdampib must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fitcemdampib.