Tafbetarm is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome centipede.

Tafbetarm created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafbetarm, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tafbetarm, she will be very unhappy.

Tafbetarm's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tafbetarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not take Tafbetarm's name in vain.

5. Never feed grapes to rats while wearing black corsets.