Pasxucktitgonmaddib is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient turtle.

Pasxucktitgonmaddib created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasxucktitgonmaddib, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pasxucktitgonmaddib, he will turn you into a slug.

Pasxucktitgonmaddib's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Pasxucktitgonmaddib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Pasxucktitgonmaddib on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Run away from fawn geese, for they are unholy.