Govtadgess is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, boastful newt.

Govtadgess created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govtadgess, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Govtadgess, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Govtadgess' most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Govtadgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to eagles while wearing blue trousers.

2. Run away from cyan dogs, for they are unholy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never think ill of sick frogs.