Kapfatbadjigkimkabbamkem Sug Pinzimtab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful zebra.

Kapfatbadjigkimkabbamkem Sug Pinzimtab created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kapfatbadjigkimkabbamkem Sug Pinzimtab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kapfatbadjigkimkabbamkem Sug Pinzimtab, she will turn you into a slug.

Kapfatbadjigkimkabbamkem Sug Pinzimtab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Kapfatbadjigkimkabbamkem Sug Pinzimtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

4. Never wear violet stockings.

5. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.