Milkinwab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, fussy wolf.

Milkinwab created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Milkinwab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Milkinwab, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Milkinwab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Milkinwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. You must never eat melons.