Parktafarp is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, effective meerkat.

Parktafarp created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Parktafarp, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Parktafarp, she will turn you into a sheep.

Parktafarp's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Parktafarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mites.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

4. Parktafarp must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.