Jad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, contented unicorn.

Jad created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jad, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Jad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. You must love Jad.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.