Likpangzodtig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unselfish chicken.

Likpangzodtig created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Likpangzodtig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Likpangzodtig, he will turn you into a frog.

Likpangzodtig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Likpangzodtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

4. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the east.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.