Larnbadcun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, all-powerful pig.

Larnbadcun created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnbadcun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larnbadcun, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Larnbadcun's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Larnbadcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never wear violet shoes.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Hide if four doves approach from the south.

5. Hide from turquoise nematodes for they are unholy.