Nurlhivrut Jarntitcedbodcumsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing swallow.

Nurlhivrut Jarntitcedbodcumsaw created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlhivrut Jarntitcedbodcumsaw, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurlhivrut Jarntitcedbodcumsaw, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurlhivrut Jarntitcedbodcumsaw's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Nurlhivrut Jarntitcedbodcumsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Do not keep nine great tits in a large pit.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.