Talsidcedhun Hugcatflatkam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awesome owl.

Talsidcedhun Hugcatflatkam created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Talsidcedhun Hugcatflatkam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Talsidcedhun Hugcatflatkam, he will turn you into a slug.

Talsidcedhun Hugcatflatkam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Talsidcedhun Hugcatflatkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in spring.

2. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

3. Never run near aardvarks.

4. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.