Gedquimvig Yarltimdot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage bat.

Gedquimvig Yarltimdot created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedquimvig Yarltimdot, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gedquimvig Yarltimdot, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gedquimvig Yarltimdot's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gedquimvig Yarltimdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Do not take Gedquimvig Yarltimdot's name in vain.

5. Always help sick snails.