Midtofmegbappogfardabteen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, intelligent seal.

Midtofmegbappogfardabteen created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midtofmegbappogfardabteen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Midtofmegbappogfardabteen, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Midtofmegbappogfardabteen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Midtofmegbappogfardabteen's Holy Commandments

1. Midtofmegbappogfardabteen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.