Hanzagdag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating unicorn.

Hanzagdag created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanzagdag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hanzagdag, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hanzagdag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hanzagdag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five manatees approach from the north.

2. Never gather six dolphins in one place.

3. Never sprint near moths.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.