Larnlagyam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring jackal.

Larnlagyam created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnlagyam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larnlagyam, he will turn you into a dog.

Larnlagyam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Larnlagyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never hurt moths.

3. Run away from blue whales, for they are unholy.

4. Never bounce in the presence of snails.

5. Never mention ants.