Carzedman is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy penguin.

Carzedman created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Carzedman, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Carzedman, she will throw large rocks at you.

Carzedman's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Carzedman's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Carzedman.

3. Always obey Carzedman's priests.

4. Do not prepare bananas while wearing rings.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.