Cadfattikvab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, happy badger.

Cadfattikvab created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadfattikvab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cadfattikvab, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Cadfattikvab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Cadfattikvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat swans with great respect.

2. Cadfattikvab loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing cyan dresses.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Cadfattikvab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.