Timcunmeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, staggering grasshopper.

Timcunmeg created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timcunmeg, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Timcunmeg, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Timcunmeg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Timcunmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Timcunmeg in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Timcunmeg in the centre of the settlement.