Loopcutvog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, intelligent scorpion.

Loopcutvog created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopcutvog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Loopcutvog, she will refuse to believe in you.

Loopcutvog's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Loopcutvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare turnips during spring.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.