Gedfumyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, witless mouse.

Gedfumyik created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedfumyik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gedfumyik, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gedfumyik's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gedfumyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your head toward the north during prayer.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gedfumyik.

3. Do not kill capybaras.

4. Gedfumyik loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.