Bimjarnham is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omniscient warg.

Bimjarnham created an electron two years ago.

If you believe in Bimjarnham, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bimjarnham, it will turn you into a rat.

Bimjarnham's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bimjarnham's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Bimjarnham loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

4. Do not contemplate spacetime during the night.

5. Never jump in winter.