Quimcamcimfig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fast alligator.

Quimcamcimfig created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimcamcimfig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimcamcimfig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Quimcamcimfig's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Quimcamcimfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silver.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Never think about special relativity near ants while wearing yellow shoes and balancing six tin spheres on your neck.

4. Always count to eight before sleeping.

5. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.