Jipwigvab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental gorilla.

Jipwigvab created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Jipwigvab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jipwigvab, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jipwigvab's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Jipwigvab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide if five tapirs approach from the east.

3. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.