Jopcidbenfidbab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unselfish lizard.

Jopcidbenfidbab created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jopcidbenfidbab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jopcidbenfidbab, he will turn you into a rat.

Jopcidbenfidbab's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Jopcidbenfidbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed lentils to tapirs while wearing violet ear rings.

5. You must love Jopcidbenfidbab.