Hasxinlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, impressive shrew.

Hasxinlarn created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasxinlarn, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hasxinlarn, he will manifest in front of you.

Hasxinlarn's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hasxinlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Hasxinlarn's priests.

2. Never stain your hands with brown.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never leap in the presence of doves.