Wapsakspag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable hyena.

Wapsakspag created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Wapsakspag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wapsakspag, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wapsakspag's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Wapsakspag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.