Vancissbest is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy monkey.

Vancissbest created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Vancissbest, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vancissbest, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vancissbest's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vancissbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your neck with cyan.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not record signs concerning moons.

4. Never jump in spring.

5. Never wear blue coats on sacred days.