Bengepfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unjust cobra.

Bengepfum created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bengepfum, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bengepfum, he will come to you in dreams.

Bengepfum's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bengepfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bengepfum's name in vain.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Bengepfum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never whisper while facing west.

4. Retreat if five dogs approach from the north.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.