Wadmon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating mongoose.

Wadmon created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadmon, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wadmon, it will turn you into a sheep.

Wadmon's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Wadmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Hide if three bats approach from the east.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wadmon.