Omtgessflat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, clever guinea pig.

Omtgessflat created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtgessflat, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Omtgessflat, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Omtgessflat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Omtgessflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.