Flandissjab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, compassionate finch.

Flandissjab created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flandissjab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flandissjab, he will not care at all.

Flandissjab's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Flandissjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. You must pray to Flandissjab seven times a day.

5. Put Flandissjab first in all things.