Yarttikced is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful troll.

Yarttikced created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarttikced, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarttikced, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yarttikced's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Yarttikced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

2. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Always share lentils with strangers, but never with tapirs.

5. Worship no other gods but Yarttikced.