Cetbelldan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful swallow.

Cetbelldan created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cetbelldan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cetbelldan, she will turn you into a goat.

Cetbelldan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Cetbelldan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Cetbelldan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Put Cetbelldan first in all things.