Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, selfish dolphin.

Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem, he will turn you into a tree.

Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Govflagcap Fliggemyimominjonwitbonk Singarkem.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

5. Do not consume beans at dawn.