Kimlapdib Fedranmum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, thoughtless porpoise.

Kimlapdib Fedranmum created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimlapdib Fedranmum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kimlapdib Fedranmum, she will laugh at you.

Kimlapdib Fedranmum's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Kimlapdib Fedranmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of dolphins.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kimlapdib Fedranmum.

5. Do not commit murder.