Flatgovmin is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest lion.

Flatgovmin created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatgovmin, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flatgovmin, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flatgovmin's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flatgovmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never wear magenta corsets on sacred days.

3. Always look after injured sharks.

4. Retreat if seven moths approach from the west.

5. Respect your elders.