Dogtof is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical jellyfish.

Dogtof created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Dogtof, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dogtof, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dogtof's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dogtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Dogtof loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

4. Do not hurt mice.

5. Run away if six ants approach from the south.