Artbentondap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, clever eagle.

Artbentondap created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artbentondap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Artbentondap, she will have a low opinion of you.

Artbentondap's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Artbentondap's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Artbentondap.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.