Flamsitstafvabgemafomin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unfair armadillo.

Flamsitstafvabgemafomin created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamsitstafvabgemafomin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flamsitstafvabgemafomin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flamsitstafvabgemafomin's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Flamsitstafvabgemafomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Never sprint in the presence of elders.