Karlarptal is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonest centaur.

Karlarptal created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karlarptal, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Karlarptal, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Karlarptal's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Karlarptal's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.