Gomvensas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking dingo.

Gomvensas created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomvensas, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gomvensas, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gomvensas' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gomvensas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from yellow hamsters for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Never sprint in the presence of ants.

5. You must love Gomvensas.