Yimbudrig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome jaguar.

Yimbudrig created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Yimbudrig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yimbudrig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yimbudrig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yimbudrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never wear white skirts.

5. Never feed lots of carrots to tapirs while wearing fawn shorts.