Haptapflan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, self-assured lobster.

Haptapflan created the Black Eye Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Haptapflan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Haptapflan, she will be very unhappy.

Haptapflan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Haptapflan's Holy Commandments

1. Haptapflan loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Run away if nine great tits approach from the east.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Do not drink alcohol.