Bathamhud is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic gorilla.

Bathamhud created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bathamhud, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bathamhud, he will refuse to believe in you.

Bathamhud's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bathamhud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Bathamhud must be the most important thing in your life.