Barnfudpom is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, compassionate toad.

Barnfudpom created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnfudpom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Barnfudpom, he will think nothing of it.

Barnfudpom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Barnfudpom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Barnfudpom on top of important buildings.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Do not hurt geese.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Never pour water over plants.